Reality check!

So... As I start a new year, I find myself getting a new agenda and coming up with a list of goals.  I have consistently done this my entire life and have been successful in accomplishing most of the goals I set out to achieve, or at least I thought I was.  I begin to reflect on my stages of life thus far (single, married, married with children and working, reality with children not working).  And. REALITY hit.... I am so good at hyper focusing on things (goals) and when I only had to account for myself, I was a rock star. I hit every goal I wanted (earned a Hawaii incentive trip in my sales job, moved to a city by myself bc I loved it, took another risk and left a lucrative sales job to go back to school to follow my passion ( working with children), got married, bought a house, and started a family.  Then my husbands job transferred us and I left my job to stay at home with my daughter.

Life went on... I had another baby and then pregnant with another and we moved again...  3 moves, 3 children in 5 years!  That was not one of my goals but I am so grateful for my family. However, in the midst of all of this, I got lost but I didn't know it.  After each of my daughters were 1yrs old, I was ready to set a new goal (a personal one), and I did and I didn't achieve it. I had another 1yr old and same thing and third time, same thing. I felt so defeated each time and began to resent my favorite people bc this was NOT me and I had to cast blame on someone...

If someone would ask me to describe myself, I would say that I am hard working, loyal, type A, outgoing person. I love to be around people and try new things but there has to be ORDER.  Again... Here comes the. REALITY!!! "I" am not in order anymore. Not sure how this happened bc I feel like I always have a "list" that gets accomplished but the list is different. I'm still hard working, loyal, and definitely a more rigid type A but my focus has been lost.

My husband said something to me that I've known for a while and when the words were said, REALITY hit... I said to him before we had kids that I've seen a ton of people turn to just focus on their kids and not their marriage and I really don't want to be like that. We are one first and they will fit it.  Well guess what... My kids are number one and my marriage fits in.  I love my husband beyond  words, and this harsh reality is why NOW I am finally ready to move forward.

This blog is meant as journal of my journey to find that 21 yr old who was fearless and took chances and created an unbelievable foundation of a family. My lists will be there but will be tweaked to instead of errands and house chores, they will focus more on what's important and to hell with the other stuff ( well not really but I'm trying)😉

I believe in winning and my definition is " creating a world where there is abundance of happiness and feeling of gratitude and success) and I believe I will have "won" with "one" step at a time!!